The Church and Revolution

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As promised to my "adoring fans" (let's just pretend), I have crafted historical documentation of the Church of Maasa's relationship to the Captainist Party.

It is a tale wrought with sorrow, oppression, and moving forward.*

Given my tendency toward verbosity, I cut out some points of historical analysis because I figured I rambled long enough already.

If, for some reason, anyone would like me to post the rest (ahaha), I'd be happy to.

*The Party is not to be held responsible for any misinterpretations of history that may be a result of the following text.

Many may wonder how I, an avowed Captainist, could declare myself loyal to the Church of Maasa. My political opponents scratch their heads, and many within the global Captainist movement question whether I have sold out. Indeed, often times these two beliefs are presented as irreconcilable. This, of course, is not the case.

A famous quote by one Mikhail Gorbachev reflects light on the situation. The facts of the quote were changed and subsequently misattributed to the sell-out politician in an effort to write out the Captainists from history. This is a philosophy that has been a guiding principle for us: “Maasa Sudou was the first Captainist. The first to seek a better life for idol-kind.”

“But, Comandante,” you may ask, “have you not always been an *enemy* of the Church?” No, of course not. I never saw a contradiction between the ideas that sustain me and the ideas of that symbol, of that extraordinary figure, Maasa Sudou.

It is true that we have had an unfortunate relationship with the Church in the past, but these events must be analyzed in their own historical contexts. When we first took the reigns of power, the Church of Maasa still acted as a force of reaction. It is well-known that Kran – predecessor to today’s head of the Church – allied himself with the writers of Yorosen and encouraged them to add in a most deplorable man in the list of Nakkyish Great Men – with ramifications at the expense of the idol class. Moreover, Kran worked closely in cooperation with reactionary elements across the net, blacklisting Captainists – even denouncing Captainism as a “vile and malignant way of life.”

It is in *this* context that we first took power, and it is here that our direct adversarial relationship with the Church began. Because, as you can see, the two worked oppositionally. The Church demanded more screentime and lines be given to Maasa. The Captainists argued that all of the background members of Berryz should be given an equal increase in exposure. Equal solos for equal work. Moreover, the forces of counter-revolution attempted to hide under the cloak of the Maasaist religion and even gain the moral high-ground!

All of this, of course, changed with the death of Kran McCarthy and the meeting known as “Sudou II,” known historically as the birth of Liberation Maasology. The Church’s shift from alliance with oppressors to alliance with the oppressed has shifted the Party’s stance to support for this more highly evolved ideology. Now, more than only advocating more lines, close-ups, and photobooks for Maasa, the Church has been shown to benefit others of the idol-class. This new union has been clearly advocated going as far back as the Song of Madayade, which said:

“Ano ko wa bijin de kanemochi”

“Urayamashii jinsei”

A clear example of both our Great Little Captain and the Maasa working together as one and mutually benefitting from the push for more solo lines.